I didn’t walk into the clinic that morning feeling brave. In fact, I almost didn’t walk in at all.
For weeks, I had been researching ketamine treatment. I read medical journals, Reddit threads, personal blogs, anything that could either reassure me or give me an in-depth, personal look at what I’d be feeling. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for years, and while I’ve tried everything from traditional SSRIs to therapy to EMDR, nothing ever quite stuck. My therapist had gently brought up ketamine as a possibility, and at first, I brushed it off. It sounded too intense. Too experimental. Too… scary.
But the more I learned, the more I realized this wasn’t some fringe treatment happening in someone’s basement. It was controlled, studied, and supervised by professionals. Eventually, I agreed to try it, still skeptical, still scared, but quietly hopeful.
The Intake
When I arrived at Charleston Ketamine Center, I was shaking. Laird, the office manager, offered me water, and I clutched it like a security blanket. The space was calming, warm lighting, soft colors, not cold or clinical like I’d feared. I met with Dr. Bowen who explained the process again: low-dose ketamine via IV, administered slowly over about an hour, followed by a period of recovery and reflection. A healthcare provider would be monitoring me the whole time. They weren’t rushing me. They wanted me to understand and feel safe.
Despite the kindness, I could feel my heart pounding. What if I freaked out? What if I lost control?
The Treatment Room
The treatment room looked like a high-end therapy office with a recliner, cozy blanket, tv and light displays. It didn’t feel like a hospital at all. I sat down, and the nurse gently inserted the IV while talking me through what to expect. She said I might feel like I was floating or dissociating, but I could always speak up if I felt uncomfortable. My vitals would be monitored the whole time.
As the ketamine drip began, I remember thinking, Okay, here we go. No turning back now.
The Experience
Within minutes, I felt… different. Not in a bad way, just altered. My body felt heavy and light at the same time, like I was melting into the chair but also lifting above it. Thoughts became fluid, almost dreamlike. I wasn’t asleep, but I wasn’t fully awake either. I lost track of time, and for someone with anxiety, that was terrifying at first.
But then something unexpected happened.
I let go.
For the first time in what felt like forever, my brain wasn’t spinning in loops. The constant inner critic, the one who overanalyzes, catastrophizes, and self-sabotages, went quiet. There was space. Peace. A sense of perspective I hadn’t felt in years.
I had what some people call a “moment of clarity,” though it didn’t come with booming voices or wild visuals. It was more like remembering something important that I had forgotten, like I am not my thoughts. I am not broken. I am still here. I could actually feel my body again, for what felt like the first time in forever. And I was listening.
Afterward
Coming back to reality was gentle. A bit like waking up from a vivid dream. I felt emotional, but calm. The nurse sat with me for a bit, offering juice and checking my vitals. Dr. Bowen came in to talk about what I experienced. I shivered a little, not because it was scary, but because it had somehow been… profound. And deeply glorious.
Later that day, I was tired, but not in a bad way. I journaled everything I could remember, trying to hold onto the feeling. Over the next few days, I noticed subtle shifts: my thoughts felt lighter, my anxiety less consuming. It wasn’t a miracle cure, but it was a crack in the armor, a place to start healing.
Final Thoughts
I won’t pretend that ketamine is right for everyone. It’s not a magic fix. It’s a tool, and a powerful one when used responsibly under medical care. I’m still on my journey. I still have bad days. But after that first session, I finally felt like maybe, just maybe, I could move forward instead of staying stuck. For the first time in a long time, I finally have hope for the future. I can’t begin to tell you how much I’m looking forward to going back and completing the full series of treatments.
If you’re considering it and you’re nervous, I see you. I was you. And I’m glad I didn’t let fear keep me from trying something that might help.
You deserve to feel better.
You deserve to come back to yourself.
And sometimes, healing starts with one uncomfortable, uncertain, incredibly brave step into the unknown. Charleston Ketamine Center is the perfect first step into that healing journey.